book: Family healing

by Salvador Minuchin

Salvador Minuchin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvador_Minuchin

Jay Haley

Jay Haley

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay_Haley

ANOVA

• Analysis of variance revealed that there were group differences. The Turkey test showed that the significant difference was between A group and B group.
• The results of the ANOVA showed a significant effect of rule type, F (11,693)=53.2, p〈 0.1, a significant effect of age of acquisition, F (5,63)= 32.3, p〈 .01, and an interaction between rule type and age of acquisition.
• The ANOVA summary table for these data (Table 5) indicates that there were no statistically significant main or interaction effects.
• The ANOVA indicates a significant main effect for proficiency (F= 10.46, p= .002). However, no significant main effect for grade level (F= 1.49, p= .23) and no significant interaction effect proficiency-by-grade level (F=2.03, p=.14) were found.

reseach findings

• the results show .....
• the results showed...
• the results revealed that...
• this study yielded limited information about
  
• these results appear to ....
• the results have been
  
• the results were ...
  
• the findings indicate that ....
• several findings are of interst....

A number of interesting findings emerged from this process, but this report focuses on three themes concerning the Chinese TESOL professionals' publication: (a) their concentration on local Chinese journals, (b) their preference for English writing conventions when preparing manuscripts for scholarly publication, and (c) their view of the influence of English as an international language on academic writing and publication in China.

Do Not Tolerate Evil People

http://www.cloudtownsend.com/videoserver/video.php?clip=CCNT2427

people pleaser --- how to say NO

http://www.cloudtownsend.com/videoserver/video.php?clip=townsendA1019

I like this one.

my feeling, my choice, my life
your feeling, your choice, your life

deal with fear

fear other people might get angery at me

guilty

Our Past Fears Can Prevent Our Future Dreams

http://www.cloudtownsend.com/videoserver/video.php?clip=CCNT2457

Our Past can Still Hurt in the Present

http://www.cloudtownsend.com/videoserver/video.php?clip=CCNT2151

Barriers to Admitting our Imperfections

http://www.cloudtownsend.com/videoserver/video.php?clip=CCNT1065

Many marriages do not live up to the promise that one or both of the partners had in the beginning. Commitment may be strong, but love, intimacy and deep sharing are not present. Why does this happen with two people who are so committed to the relationship?

When boundaries are not established at the beginning of a marriage, or when they break down, marriages break down as well or don’t grow past the initial attraction into real intimacy. These couples never reach the true “knowing” of each other and the ongoing ability to abide in love and to grow as individuals and as a couple.

http://www.cloudtownsend.com/channels/marriage.php

why it is better to tell the truth than to tell a life?

it is better to tell the truth than tell a lie because you don't have to remember what you said

Bowen Theory and Practice

http://www.thebowencenter.org/miva/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TBC&Product_Code=P-BTP&Category_Code=P

Separating a Self

Bowen theory suggests that the goal of therapy is "to help individual family members to rise up out of the emotional togetherness that binds us." This goal is based on the observation that the symbiotic interdependence between people is what fuels reactivity and emotional distance in relationships, and symptoms in individuals. This clinical conference will present the efforts of people to separate themselves from their family emotional systems and direct their own lives more from within themselves.

writing websites

• the prudue online writing lab---- http://owl.english.purdue.edu
• Dartmouth writing program---- www.dartmouth.edu/~writing/materials/about.shtml
• MIT online writing and communication center ----- http://web.mit.edu/writing
• University of North Carolina, writing center --- www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb
• university of wisconsin-Madison, writing center --- www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/index.html
  

Writing reference books

• Behrman, Carol H. Writing skills problem solver. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2000.
• Bromberg, Murray and Liebb, Julius, 601 words you need to know to pass your exam. Hauppauge, NY: Barron's, 2005.
• Clark, Roy Peter. Free to write: A journalist teaches young writers. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann Educational Books,1987.
• Flesch, Rudolf. The art of readable writing. New York, NY: Macmillan, 1949.
• McWhorter, Katherine T. Successful college writing. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's. 2000.
• Murphy, Raymond. Grammar in use: a self-study reference and practice for intermediate students of English (3rd edition). Cambridge: Cambridge university press. 2004.

http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/

Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you're commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some turd's fantasy. So stop walkin' on and Holla Back: Send us pics of street harassers!

http://www.caughtya.org/

A "hall of shame" to expose people parking illegally in disability or mobility parking spaces.

The site aims to expose people who are using "handicap" parking spaces without being entitled to do so. We display photos and details of vehicles that are using disability carparks without the parking permit.

• the test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones
• never express anything unbecoming, nor act against the rules moral before your inferiors
  

Punctuation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punctuation

existentialist

The thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die.

self, and the self's relation to the world as being grounded in self-reflection and introspection

Kierkegaard also stressed the importance of the self, and the self's relation to the world as being grounded in self-reflection and introspection. He argued in Concluding Unscientific Postscript to Philosophical Fragments that "subjectivity is truth" and "truth is subjectivity." This has to do with a distinction between what is objectively true and an individual's subjective relation (such as indifference or commitment) to that truth. People who in some sense believe the same things may relate to those beliefs quite differently. Two individuals may both believe that many of those around them are poor and deserve help, but this knowledge may lead only one of them to decide to actually help the poor.

Kierkegaard primarily discusses subjectivity with regard to religious matters, however. As already noted, he argues that doubt is an element of faith and that it is impossible to gain any objective certainty about religious doctrines such as the existence of God or the life of Christ. The most one could hope for would be the conclusion that it is probable that the Christian doctrines are true, but if a person were to believe such doctrines only to the degree they seemed likely to be true, he or she would not be genuinely religious at all. Faith consists in a subjective relation of absolute commitment to these doctrines.[32

Pseudonymous authorship

Half of Kierkegaard's authorship was written under pseudonyms which represented different ways of thinking. This was part of Kierkegaard's theory of "indirect communication". According to several passages in his works and journals, such as The Point of View of My Work as an Author, Kierkegaard wrote this way in order to prevent his works from being treated as a philosophical system with a systematic structure. In the Point of View, Kierkegaard wrote: "In the pseudonymous works, there is not a single word which is mine. I have no opinion about these works except as a third person, no knowledge of their meaning, except as a reader, not the remotest private relation to them."[33]

He used indirect communication to make it difficult to ascertain whether he actually held any of the views presented in his works. He hoped readers would simply read the work at face value without attributing it to some aspect of his life. Kierkegaard also did not want his readers to treat his work as an authoritative system, but rather look to themselves for interpretation.

---------- I think this is cool.

faith by Søren Kierkegaard

The leap of faith is his conception of how an individual would believe in God or how a person would act in love. Faith is not a decision based on evidence that, say, certain beliefs about God are true or a certain person is worthy of love. No such evidence could ever be enough to pragmatically justify the kind of total commitment involved in true religious faith or romantic love. Faith involves making that commitment anyway. Kierkegaard thought that to have faith is at the same time to have doubt. So, for example, for one to truly have faith in God, one would also have to doubt one's beliefs about God; the doubt is the rational part of a person's thought involved in weighing evidence, without which the faith would have no real substance. Someone who does not realise that Christian doctrine is inherently doubtful and that there can be no objective certainty about its truth does not have faith but is merely credulous. For example, it takes no faith to believe that a pencil or a table exists, when one is looking at it and touching it. In the same way, to believe or have faith in God is to know that one has no perceptual or any other access to God, and yet still has faith in God. As Kierkegaard writes, "doubt is conquered by faith, just as it is faith which has brought doubt into the world".

--------- Make sense to me.

Leap of faith

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_of_faith

Søren Kierkegaard

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S%C3%B8ren_Kierkegaard
• communities where individuals keep their diversity and uniqueness
• the superficiality of "the crowd" attempting to limit and stifle the unique individual
• Christendom
• books such as Practice in Christianity, For Self-Examination, and Judge for Yourselves!, which attempted to expound the true nature of Christianity, with Jesus as its role model.
• Kierkegaard's vision of the world was that it was composed of an endless variety of subjective alternate realities, forcing one to jump and proclaim one's choice of a direct and immediately accessible reality, rather than conflationary versions commonly tethered.
• Kierkegaard regarded the pastor as a mere political official with a niche in society, clearly, not representative of the divine.
• He said to Emil Boesen, a friend since childhood who kept a record of his conversations with Kierkegaard, that his life had been one of immense suffering, which may have seemed like vanity to others, but he did not think it so.

Frankness by Robert E. Lee

Arlington House, April 5, 1852

My dear son:

I am just in the act of leaving for New Mexico. My fine old regiment has been ordered to that distant region, and I must hasten to see that they are properly taken care of. I have but little to add in reply to your letter of March 26. Your letters breathe a true spirit of frankness; they have given myself and your mother great pleasure. You must study to be frank with the world, frankness is the child of honest courage. Say what you mean to do on every occasion, and take it for granted you mean to do right. If a friend should ask a favor, you should grant it, if it is possible and reasonable, if not, tell him plainly why you cannot. You will wrong him and yourself by equivocation of any kind. Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one. The man who requires you to do so is dearly purchased at a sacrifice. Deal kindly but firmly with all your classmates. You will find it the policy which wears best. Above all do not appear to others what you are not. If you have any fault to find with anyone, tell him, not others, of what you complain. There is no more dangerous experiment than that of undertaking to be one thing before a man's face and another behind his back. We should live and act and say nothing to injure of any one. It is not only best as a matter of principle but it is the path to peace and honor. In regard to duty, let me in conclusion of this hasty letter, inform you that nearly a hundred years ago there was a day of remarkable gloom and darkness, still known as the dark day, a day when the light of the sun was slowly extinguished as if by an eclipse. The legislature of Connecticut was in session and as its members saw the unexpected and unaccountable darkness coming on, they shared in the general awe and terror. It was supposed by many that the day of judgment had come. Some one in the consternation of the hour moved for an adjournment. Then there arose an old patriotic legislator, Davenport of Stamford, who said that if the last day had come, he desired to be found in his place of duty, and therefore moved that candles be brought in so that the house could proceed with its duty. There was quietness in that man's mind, the quietness of heavenly wisdom, an inflexible willingness to obey his duty. Duty, then is the sublimest word in our language. Do your duty in all things, like the old puritan. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less. Let not me or your mother wear one gray hair for any lack of duty on your part.

Your affectionate father,

R. E. LEE.

to G.W.Custis Lee.

Robert E. Lee Quotes

Robert E. Lee Quotes

• So far from engaging in a war to perpetuate slavery, I am rejoiced that Slavery is abolished. I believe it will be greatly for the interest of the South. So fully am I satisfied of this that I would have cheerfully lost all that I have lost by the war, and have suffered all that I have suffered to have this object attained.
• Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less
  
• I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.
• Whiskey - I like it, I always did, and that is the reason I never use it.
• My chief concern is to try to be an humble, earnest Christian.
• Obedience to lawful authority is the foundation of manly character.
• It is well that war is so terrible -- lest we should grow too fond of it.
• 
  

Robert E. Lee with Joseph Johnston

• [W]e made a great mistake in the beginning of our struggle, and I fear, in spite of all we can do, it will prove to be a fatal mistake. We appointed all our worst generals to command our armies, and all our best generals to edit the newspapers
• [T]here is no more dangerous experiment than that of undertaking to be one thing before a man's face and another behind his back.
• You must study to be frank with the world: frankness is the child of honesty and courage. Say just what you mean to do on every occasion, and take it for granted that you mean to do right.
• With all my devotion to the Union and the feeling of loyalty and duty of an American citizen, I have not been able to make up my mind to raise my hand against my relatives, my children, my home. I have therefore resigned my commission in the Army, and save in defense of my native State, with the sincere hope that my poor services may never be needed, I hope I may never be called on to draw my sword...
• A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others
• My experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health
• The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He can not only forgive; he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which imparts sufficient strength to let the past be put the past.
  
• The education of a man is never completed until he dies.
• We failed, but in the good providence of God apparent failure often proves a blessing.
• What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
• You can have anything you want - if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, have anything you desire, accomplish anything you set out to accomplish - if you will hold to that desire with singleness of purpose.
• Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and, when summoned away, to leave without regret.
• Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one.
• They do not know what they say. If it came to a conflict of arms, the war will last at least four years. Northern politicians will not appreciate the determination and pluck of the South, and Southern politicians do not appreciate the numbers, resources, and patient perseverance of the North. Both sides forget that we are all Americans. I foresee that our country will pass through a terrible ordeal, a necessary expiation, perhaps, for our national sins.
• You cannot be a true man until you learn to obey
• My trust is in the mercy and wisdom of a kind Providence, who ordereth all things for our good
  

dialogue between two persons

A: why do i have to go through these experience in order to know what I really want?

B: that is the way it is, applies to everyone, especially when we are not smart, are stubborn. it is good to have this experience, otherwise you would never feel satisfied with your change

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

The art of success by Wiftred Peterson

There are no secrets of success. Success is doing the things you know you should do. Success is not doing the things you know you should no do.

Success in not limited to any area of your life. It encompasses all of the facts of your relationships: as parent, as wife or husband, as citizen, neighbour, worker and all of the others.

Success is not confined to any one part of your personality but is related to the development of the parts; body, mind ,heart and spirit. It is making the most of your total self.

Success is discovering your talents, skills and abilities and applying them whether they will make the most effective contribution to your fellow men.

Success is harnessing your heart to a task you love to do. It is falling in love with your work. It demands intense concentration on your chief aim in life. It is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have burning a desire to achieve.

Success is 99% mental attitude. It calls for love, joy, optimism, confidence, serenity, poise, faith, courage, cheerfulness, imagination, initiative, tolerance, honesty, humility, patience and enthusiasm.

Success is not arriving at the summit of a mountain as a final destination. It is a continuing upward spiral of progress. It is perpetual growth.

Success is having the courage to meet failure without being defeated. It is refusing to let present loss interfere with your long-range goal.

Success is accepting the challenge of the difficult. Success is your answer to the problem of making your minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years add up to a great life.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.

book: The Art of Living

by Wilferd Peterson

Youth by Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life—it is a state of mind.
It is not a matter of red cheeks, red lips and supple knees.
It is a temper of the will; a quality of the imagination; a vigor of the emotions; it is a freshness of the deep springs of life.
Youth means a tempermental predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over a life of ease.
This often exists in a man of fifty, more than in a boy of twenty.
Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years; people grow old by deserting their ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair—these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.

Whether seventy or sixteen, there is in every being’s heart a love of wonder; the sweet amazement at the stars and starlike things and thoughts; the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing childlike appetite for what comes next, and the joy in the game of life.

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair.

In the central place of your heart there is a wireless station.
So long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, grandeur, courage, and power from the earth, from men and from the Infinite—so long are you young. When the wires are all down and the central places of your heart are covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then are you grown old, indeed!

Samuel Ullman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Ullman